At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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