you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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