His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize