why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
