when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
