so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
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