Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
