He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
