after a month anything with tits is on the radar
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
