Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
