I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
