Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize