Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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