Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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