Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
