I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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