do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Acid is not a monday night drug
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
