Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Just puked most of my soul out..
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
