Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
