Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
