Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
