so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
this just has baby written all over it
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At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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