We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Randomize
