no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
