She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Randomize
