I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
