right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
