She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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