I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
