If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
