a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS