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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Four. Poor grandma...

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• (281): View more from Texas

  Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.

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• (506): View more from New Brunswick

  A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (504): View more from Louisiana

  i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.

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• (980): View more from North Carolina

  You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid

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• (925): View more from California

  I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.

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  These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.

  (410): View more from Maryland

  The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.

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• (585): View more from New York

  I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.

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• (708): View more from Illinois

  Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol

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