My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
its like you know when i get waxed