Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
