this beer tastes like vomit already
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
