Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
