We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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