Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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