I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
OPIZZABONMYDICK
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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