I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
