we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
