She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize