as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
