I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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