dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
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she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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