i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
