Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
this hospital has no fireball
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
