I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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