as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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