My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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