I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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