you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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