im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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