All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
