i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
