I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
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His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
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I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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