I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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