so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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