There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
