Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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