its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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